I have to admit it, sometimes I question my son’s intelligence. Well maybe not his IQ, but his common sense. I realize that most 6 yr old boys really are not blessed with common sense, or rational thought. I also realize that this condition does not improve appreciably with age. Exhibit A: My husband. Exhibit B: My father………and the list goes on. But you would think that when the same behaviour gets you into trouble time and time again, when mommy ends up mad almost every night, one would think that even a stubborn, muleheaded 6 yr old boy would start to think I’m not doing myself any favors here. Maybe if I stop doing this, mama won’t take away my cars. But NO, that never happens does it? I have friends with daughters and they don’t describe this frustration to me.
It starts as soon as I say it’s time to get ready for bed. Conor had a soccer game earlier today so a shower was defintely in order. I had been telling him all day that he was going to take a shower tonight. He helped make pancakes for dinner and while we were cooking I told him that he had to take a shower tonight. While he ate his dinner I told him that he had to take a shower tonight. A shower tonight was not news! Once he was done I said okay, now lets get into the shower. His reply? why??
His first move is to drop to the floor and pretend to be asleep, or in a coma, I don’t know. All I know is that I can feel my blood pressure rising. I try not to go straight to pissed off so I play along for a second, and then I say okay, enough is enough, let’s get going. Does he get the hint?? Of course not. For some reason in his mind, this is funny. I finally get him down the hall to my bedroom, he lays on the bed as I try to get his clothes off. He thinks its funny to clench his legs up to make getting his shorts off as difficult as possible. Now, I am getting pissed. I ask him please, can we have one night where you go to bed without me getting angry? Apparently not.
What is this kid thinking? This happens almost every night! When I call him to come brush his teeth I have to do it 5 times. When I finally get to the point that I snap and raise my voice to him he says to me one of two things. He’ll either say that I’m not being very nice to him, or that I’m scaring him because I raised my voice. If I had tried this with my mother,…well I have to admit she wouldn’t have raised her voice. She would have been too busy raising her hand to swat my butt.
Is it like Bill Cosby says in his 1983 standup “Himself”? That all children are brain damaged? Or is it just boys? I keep hoping that he will outgrow this complete and utter lack of self preservation that he seems to have but I’m not holding out a lot of hope. As I’m typing this, my husband, who is buzzed from watching football all day, has just walked down the hall to our son, who is finally in bed. He jumps into the room and yells “HIKE”. I hear the delighted squeals of Conor and I can hear them playing football in the bedroom.
So if everyone will excuse me…………I need to go kill my husband!!!
